Handover Phist

I broke my toe.

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 07:14:50 -0800

In the best way possible, really. Playing laser tag with a gaggle of guys aged 11 to 18 in a two story maze. I didn't even know I had stubbed my toe hard enough to do damage until all was said and done, and by that time I was too pooped to care.

Oh fer the luvva...

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:11:11 -0700

OK, I have lived with cats since birth. So far, I don't think any of them has stolen my soul. If so, I wouldn't know which to swear at. Rastus? Naw, too cool. Homer? Naw, too stupid, although I have a soft spot for orange tabbies. At any rate, I have some time spent with cats. I know, then, that they can be costly. My current favorite, dubbed Scrappy by the kids, has lived up to his name. He could have picked a better time and place, like wait until someone is breaking into the house and get all over his face with claws and teeth, but no. He went into some random scrap like someone who cant hold his booze.

OK, that hurt

Looks like I'm babysitting for awhile. Stitches come out in 10 days. Whatever he was fighting got through his guard pretty easy and wrecked his face. It's OK, though, he's still as pretty as Muhammad Ali.

Symptoms of Inner Peace

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 09:54:19 -0700

I found this both funny and interesting, written by Saskia Davis:

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been expose to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

A loss of interest in judging other people.

A loss of interest in judging self.

A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

A loss of interest in conflict.

A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)

Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

Frequent attacks of smiling.

An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

WARNING:

If you have some or all of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be so far advanced as to not be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk.

The Blind Leading...

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:26:47 -0700

The last four days of vacation should be all kinds of interesting. The Mrs has just had laser eye surgery, the kind that leaves you blind and in pain for a week. Coming home on the bus was fun as well as she was pumped up (down?) on Ativan. No matter what happened, for example the bus we were on broke down, she just didn't care. She came home in "whateverland". The next few days will be a trial, but she'll be fine if we keep her hands away from her eyes.

After that wish me luck, she'll be seeing me for the first time without being legally blind!

New Stuff

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 16:21:28 -0700

So I got a call from dad the other day wondering what the heck is going on with me. He had checked Facebook (waste of time) and here (should be posting) and hadn't seen a thing in awhile, My bad(ish). The new store is running and were just about ready to be brewing beer, coolers, and cider as well as wine. Also, I have a new toy. This, as well as the new store, is what has been taking up my time. Have a gander:

Some repairs are being made, the last of which should be monday morning, after which is vacation time! We'll be heading to Harrison for a night and working on the house, building a wee extension to house the kids.

This bike doesn't yet have a name. Suggestions so far are Valkyr (Masculine Valkyrie), but there's already a bike called the Valkyrie. There doesn't seem to be any real problems with it like the old ones. like Sparky (electrical), Lucy (loose seals), or Spike (threw a piston rod across the highway). So what to christen the new ride? Hmmmmm. The saddle is damaged, so "Rip" has been suggested, and the power lives up to the name being a big engine on a small frame. So Rip? Maybe, but I'm up for suggestions...

Oh, the saddlebags do look good when I haven't stuffed them with junk.

Good Food Saves The Day

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Sun, 03 May 2009 16:32:25 -0700

I would like to put forth this idea, the difference between a good day and a bad day can most times boil down to the food. Food appreciation is a much underrated thing, and I've only just begun to scratch the surface.

After a day that started out with my homemade pancakes, yogurt, blueberries, strawberries, and real maple syrup, I could have taken on pretty much anything. What I did take on was a horribly busted computer. I won, of course. After a lunch consisting of a tip steak marinated in habanero tequila barbeque sauce mixed with my homemade beer, baked potatoes, and ceasar salad, I feel as if the day is complete. In between these meals I have a mountain of work to try to accomplish. Enough that I can hardly imagine it all being done, with more streaming in. Problem? Not here, the steak lunch included an estate shiraz for accompaniment!

At any rate I would simply like to say, pay attention to what you eat, it's terribly important! Moreso that the next thing to fix, the next report to write, the next meeting to impress people at, or the next review. It is what enables you to do all those things well.

To The Guy Who Thinks I'm Crazy

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 17:39:44 -0800

I am. I have been convinced of this fact for many years.

OK, you don't know what I'm talking about. Let me give you the situation. A couple of days ago I had planned out my day, and the plan included changing the oil and filter on my motorbike. I love my bike, and it needs attention. So I headed out for the store I had reserved my stuff at. The problem at the time was it was raining and snowing. Not heavily, and the back road I live on was perfectly rideable. Halfway though the trip I came to a windy road covered in slush. I pulled the bike over to the shoulder and considered the road ahead while adjusting my gear. Moments after spitting on the inside of the visor (really works to kill fogging!) some guy pulled his car over on the other side of the street, rolled down his window and yelled "Hey! Are you crazy?!". I nodded and laughed. I laughed not from amusement, but from relief. For a minute I thought I might have been doing something wrong!

I genuinely feel that if nobody on our floating hunk of dirt thinks I'm nuts, then I must be living completely safely. I must not be pushing any limits of human endeavor. I must be boring as all hell. I cant do that. I was put here for, if I'm lucky, a mere 100 turns around a giant flaming mass of heat. That's not much time to cram beautiful experience into. So, my friend, you ride safely in your car with the heat turned up and the relaxing music playing, hoping nobody fucks up while chatting on their cellphone taking a left turn in their very safe Volvo. I'm going to live as you are afraid to, because someone has to. Someone has to push. Someone has to jump out of an airplane with a few square meters of cloth strapped to their back that will stop them from slamming into the earth.

Know this, though. I know you're alarmed when you see what I'm doing. I know you think I must be a madman with a death wish. I'm not. I know myself and my tools and my machinery well enough to turn around and head home when faced with that windy, slushy road. Straightaways that are just wet, I can handle. Slushy curves? Not thanks. I'll head back home and get a lift from someone safer. Someone warmer and dryer, and maybe a little bit saner.

Way foggy

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 07:52:52 -0800

I've never seen fog descend upon a city as it has in Vancouver over the last few days. The sun came out after about three feet of snow fell, and instead of melting off the snow seemed to sublimate into a dense soup. In some places it was impossible to see more than a few feet in any direction. Standing on my back balcony I couldn't see my back fence. The pictures to the left will give you an idea of what I'm talking about. Yes, those two glowing bits are the Lions Gate bridge. I'm sure folks in other places, say, London maybe, are used to this sort of blinding mist, but it's new on me!

Dearest Julie

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 15:10:35 -0800

I no longer believe in love at first sight, and I will tell you why here.

A couple of years ago, someone asked me if I believed in love at first sight, and I replied yes. They asked me if that's what happened upon seeing you, and again I said yes. Then they asked me what it felt like. I replied to them by telling this story:

Imagine you have an object that you value trumendously. Some thing of such value to you that if someone approached you and said "That thing is quite beautiful, how much does it cost?" no monetary value could possibly be assigned to it. To you, this object is priceless. Now imagine that you wake one morning and the object of great value is gone. You would search frantically for days. You would enlist the help of friends and neighbors, perhaps the police. As time went by the police would stop searching, then friends would lose hope and tell you to stop searching, everywhere has been looked into and under. After much time you would eventually come to accept the loss of the object. As more time passed you would go through a grieving process, and finally accept the loss. You would move on with your life.

Now imagine this. Years after the object is gone and you have accepted this, you walk into a room and there it is in all its splendor. There is the object that you had surrendered as forever lost, the object of your longing and desire. The subtle void that you carried from the loss that you carry as an accepted feeling would vanish and a wave of relief would wash over you. A feeling of emptiness that you figured was just a part of life would suddenly vanish as if it had never existed. This is the feeling I felt as I walked into a pub and saw her sitting and simply enjoying the music. There she was, the object of such longing that had dogged me for years, that I had accepted as a part of life that I would never see.

Looking back on that conversation and description of feeling I have to come to the conclusion that I didn't fall in love with you at first sight. I've loved you since the moment my lungs drew their first breath. I simply hadn't found you yet.

And so, there is no such thing as Love At First Sight.

My Wife Is Crazy

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 10:25:12 -0800

Deck

If you want something done right, wait for someone crazy enough to come around and do it. When my son wanted a gingerbread house, my crazy wife went ahead and did it, with a brilliant twist. She created a house of cards, each artfully done in icing, and glued them together using melted chocolate. Even the face cards were created using an actual deck for reference. The results were a beautiful work that noone wanted to eat, as hours of painstaking work were obvious in the finished product.

Starting with homemade gingerbread cookies, she made the different colored icings and melted chocolate for the black cards. The red cards were made using cinnamon candy that she cut to shape by hand.

You can see a closeup of the king of hearts by clicking on the image.

King Closeup

Finished House

You can see a closeup of the completed House Of Cards by clicking the image as well.

Rules For Being Human

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:17:03 -0800

1. YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY.

You many like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period of this time around.

2. YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS.

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called LIFE. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES ONLY LESSONS.

Growth is a process of trial and error: Experimentation. The "failed: experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works".

4. A LESSON IS REPEATED UNTIL LEARNED.

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go to the next lesson.

5. LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END.

There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "THERE" IS NO BETTER THAN "HERE".

When your "there" has become a "here" you will only obtain another "there" that will again look like "here".

7. OTHERS ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU.

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects some thing you love or hate about yourself.

8. WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU.

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. YOUR ANSWERS LIE INSIDE OF YOU.

The answers to LIFE's question lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL OF THIS.

11. YOU CAN REMEMBER IT WHENEVER YOU WANT.

From "Rules for Being Human" by Cherie Carter Scott

Best News Article Ever

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:53:46 -0800

I love satire and this piece, brought to you by those satirical masters at The Onion, bring you this:

Dont Kill People!

Better When...

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 22:31:26 -0800

Joojie and I have been married for 10 years as of July 18th, and I have no way of telling her how much she means to me. No way of saying "I love you THIS MUCH". Don't blame me, my arms are too short.

So, with all my shortcomings and flaws, I decided to do what I usually do. Do something crazy.

I proposed again.

Yup. I want to reiterate one thing, the most important thing to me.

My Songbird is my inspiration, and I will profess my dedication and love to her again after ten years.

And she said YES! WOOHOO!

Interview

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:18:47 -0700

Once in awhile you wander into a den of folks that eclipse your own knowledge so thoroughly that it resembles a work of art beautiful enough to stun you. I had a job interview today. The first question was:

You have a computer, I dont care what kind. On it is an operating system, I dont care which one. You see a web browser, I dont care which one. You put a URL, say www.google.com, in the address bar, tell me what happens. You have ten minutes.

I managed about six minutes, which is a fail for that company, but I know who I'll be referring people to who I cant handle. Wow. It was like walking into a Linux cathedral. ESR would have been proud. He also would have kicked more ass.

NEXT!

Ah, the good times.

nospam@example.com (Handover Phist) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:17:47 -0700

As I've grown older I've graduated from the schoolhouse to the brewhouse, and from the pub to the stage. I gotta say, the stage is much more fun than just sitting around swilling beer, watching fights on the tube and bitching about taxes!